A Letter to a Friend

K,

I haven’t seen you much in the last few years, but we still occasionally talk as if we saw each other yesterday.
I made the horrible mistake of trying to set you up with someone the last time you came to visit and I hope that’s not putting you off coming up because you know better than I, that will never happen again.

I got stuck in a memory the other day (as one does) of You and Me and our old house mates sitting around in a circle outside our crumby little house, having a drink and talking. My ex’s ‘secret friend’ then appeared and he took her inside to ‘study’ … And I remember the look on your face of pure disgust mixed with a want to really hurt him. You tried to take my mind of the fact that only about 10 meters away they were ‘studying’ … and we talked well into the night and if I remember correctly, I fell asleep on your couch with a glass of something in my hand, watching you play guitar.
Thanks for that, by the way. I don’t know if I’ve ever said it properly.

Then years later when we got our time in the sun, It was short, but sweet. I remember lots of fireworks, literally and otherwise.
You moved away for work after that and decided you didn’t want to do the long distance relationship, I think more for my sake than yours. I was totally crushed, and don’t think I took it the best way. I didn’t speak to you for weeks afterward and when I finally did, I was cold and blew you off like you were a piece of lint on my coat. I tried not to be bothered with you, but you were the one person when all others turned their backs on me, who helped me brush myself off and then kicked me in the ass to get up and keep on going.

I’d like to say that I had a big part in helping build that relationship, but in truth I only did half the work. Probably less, really.
Time has been a very big factor, I’ve known you for nearly 7 years. You’re the friend who has been around for the longest, you know. You even came to see me after I came out of hospital, one of the only people to do so. It was awkward and odd, and I think I remember even falling asleep for part of your visit, but You came none the less.

I know that My plans in life have differed dramatically in the last few years, and the fact that you haven’t been able to be here for most of them is one reason why I’m writing this. I don’t ever want to stop speaking to you, or hearing about your days, or how many coffees you drank that morning. Thank You for the trouble you’ve gone to lately, and the things you’ve done for me. It must have been weird to hear about Me & D. It’ll be weird to hear about you too, but I hope that when the time comes I’ll be involved in the ring procurement. You’ll always need a second opinion.

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One thought on “A Letter to a Friend

  1. Ren,

    Mistakes happen, That’s life. It if we learn from mistakes, well meaning or not, that matters.

    I recall parts of that night. Heck, parts of that year, not all of it. My short term memory is good as I need it for work, however anything longer then about 2 weeks gets fuzzy and grey. I only get a few clear memories from each year really. Probably something I should get checked however I never find myself inclined to do so.
    I’m still playing guitar, not as much as I used to. Heck, I can’t play as well as I did then, it just doesn’t work as well. I should start practicing more, however I don’t want to be that house mate that sits in a room playing guitar for an hour when people are over… Which there always seems to be as of late.

    I recall the evening. It was a good evening. It was… what it was.
    In regards to what occured after, I am what I am. If I think that me doing something will help someone out or make someone I care about happy in the long term, I generally do that something. That’s how I’m wired. Have been for a while.

    In regards to the relationship part, Your friendship was one of the few that I stuck with. These days I don’t put effort into them as much as I did back then. If people can’t be bothered to talk to me outside of a group setting then I leave well enough alone. Probably why I’m slowly going all hermit like.

    I look forward to the eventual wedding and hope that it goes well. I even plan on being there for it when/if you send an invite 😛 However, time will tell what happens then. Everything moves to quickly now. I can barely keep up with what I need to know for work, let alone what I need to remember for friendships and the like.

    Kind regards,
    K

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