I’m scared that my abilities are gone, I’m scared that I’m going to fuck this up.
And, I’m scared of You.
I don’t want to start… but I will.
This is an invocation for anyone who hasn’t begun;
Who is stuck in a terrible place between 0 and 1.
-Let me realize that my past failures are no indication of my future performance… they’re just healthy little fires that warm up my ass.
-If my FILDI (Fuck it, Lets Do It) is strong let me keep him in a velvet box until I really really need him, but if my FILDI is weak let me feed him oranges and not let him gorge himself on ego and arrogance.
-Let me not hit up my Facebook like its a crack pipe… Keep the browser closed.
-If I ever catch myself wearing a too-too : too fat, too late, too old… let me shake it off, like a donkey shakes off something it doesn’t like.
-And when I get that feeling in my stomach… You know the feeling when all of a sudden you get a ball of energy and it shoots down into your legs, up into your arms and it tells you to get up and stand up and go to the fridge and have a cheese sandwich… Thats my Cheese Monster talking. Your Cheese Monster will never be satisfied by Cheddar, but only the Cheese of Accomplishment.
– Let me think about the people I care about the most, and how when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them. I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself.
-Let me find and use metaphors to help me understand the world around me, and give me the strength to get rid of them when apparently they no longer work.
-Let me thank the parts of me that I don’t understand or are out of my rational control; like my creativity or my courage.
-Let me remember that my courage is like a wild dog; it won’t just come when I call it and I have to chase it down and hold on as tight as I can.
-Let me not be so vain to think that I am the sole author of my victories and the complete victim of my defeats.
-Let me remember that the unintended meaning that people project onto what I do, is neither my fault or something that I can take credit for.
-Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he’s a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.
-Let me remember that the impact of criticism is not often the intent of the critic. But when the intent is evil, well… That’s what the Block button is for.
-Let me not think of my work only as a stepping stone to something else. And if it is… let me become fascinated with the shape of the stone.
-Let me take the idea that has gotten me this far and put it to bed. What I want to do will not be that, But it will be something.
-There is no need to sharpen my pencils any more, they’re sharp enough. Even the dull ones will make a mark.
Warts and All.
Lets start this.
And Fuck… Let me enjoy this.
Life isn’t a sequence of waiting for things to be done.