I don’t come into contact with a lot of people but rather the handshakes, the smiles, and the laughter. They’re usually wound up into generic friendly moments, but friendship in itself is something different.
Making a friend, or possibly allowing a friend to be made. Allowing yourself to see that smile that you didn’t expect, although needed. A firm handshake; tight enough so that they’re not a limp, wet fish but tender enough to make you look again. A secret expressed by two people, sometimes out loud but mostly its said with eye movements and winks.
And… there you have it. A friend.
Sometimes for life, sometimes for that moment in time.
When you realize this moment is in process, you smile stupidly but not too much because you don’t want to ruin it, so you sit there with this seedy half-smile stuck on your face… and almost everyone around you thinks you’re going to barf.
Thankyou for thinking of me. For reserving a small piece of your mind to look after me when I need it, or to remember my birthday- when I’ve forgotten yours.
Thankyou for not actively trying to hurt me, although if you think about it, You’re in a position to hurt me much more than most people could.
Thankyou for including me with your other friends; invitations to things and Facebook tags. I’ll admit that I do get jealous of those other friends, from time to time. There are moments where I just wonder where I stand in relation to them. Whether I’m above or below certain people in your grand scheme, or whether we’re all on an even playing field.
As we’ve gotten older your face still looks the same to me, however I do recognize the lines and grey hairs that are taking up residence but, I just lump them into the ‘You’ category in the room up in my mind that is reserved for such things. Sometimes I can’t find the key, and other times I have to bash the door down… But I eventually get there.
The greatest gift you have given, is for me to stop struggling to find my place.
The occasional apology from Me to You because, lets face it.
…I can be a major dick sometimes.