Toxic: A Permanent Caretaker

Only the person in question can make the decision to become happy. There is basically nothing that you can do, to force them to see the truth. This is a fact that I recently learned.

Upon this revaluation, I struggled with what I should do next.
Sitting down and taking the situation in hand, I distanced myself from those people until I was at a point where I could evaluate the situation.

Someone else once asked me If I was going to start charging by the hour, to take care of her.
At the time, I reacted with disdain and displeasure toward the speaker, but as time went on I began to notice the small things that they mentioned in clearer detail. I did constantly act like a big sister, mother or caretaker toward her.

She mentioned telling so-and-so or what-his-name things that we had talked about, that I thought had been divulged in relative secrecy. Obviously, I was incorrect.
These were only two instances which triggered me to re-think our relationship.

I’ve begun to associate with positive, happy people and as a result, become happier myself. I was in fact, increasing my odds of becoming a negative and depressed person, without thinking about it. I was making myself and in turn my family, suffer because of it.
It’s not easy to maintain a relative balance with all the relationships in our lives, but If you feel that one person isn’t contributing at all, they’re bringing the entire side down.

I realized my friend was speaking from her own insecurity and jealousy and I needed to remember my primary relationships, and focus on friends who support my choices. Constantly making it seem like all her problems were everyone else’s fault, which was fundamentally wrong.

There was a moment that I could’ve spent the day with her, or sat there chewing my nails and worrying about my lost cat. (She’d gone missing the day before)
I chose the latter, and I’m glad of it.
I got to think stuff out, just me, and besides being stressed out as hell over the damn cat- I figured out enough to know that there was a problem in continuing our friendship.

Right now, I’m sitting in my study with the sunset in front of me. I’ve got a lovely breeze blowing through the widows as I look to the clouds that are rising to the west. My two dogs are rumbling in the next room, and my little black kitten purring her butt off in my lap. The Man is outside starting on his next round of home brew, and I’ve got a pot of Pea & Ham soup bubbling away on the stove.

Tomorrow night, I’m going out to have dinner with a bunch of friends and then later in the week, I’m flying to Adelaide for a pre-wedding holiday.

If You’re happy and you know it… Clap Your Hands! 
*clap clap*


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