One out of Three

First trimester is nearly over, and it has marked a resounding;
“You’re not done yet!!!”  which has been said to me by every single doctor or clinician I’ve encountered so far.  They’ve said it with a grin. All of them.

The bastards.

Yes, Thankyou for that invaluable information. I did not realise that I have 6 months left of this wonderfully daunting experience.
My mistake?

Because my pregnancy is high risk it means that at least once a fortnight, if not more often, I’m travelling to either the doctors surgery or the hospital for check-ups. The travelling is getting a bit old. Especially, since I am no longer legally permitted to operate a motor vehicle that moves faster than a walking pace… it takes oh-so long. So books are being read by the dozens, and I’ve been getting to know the bus drivers and train operators on a first name basis.

Perhaps it’s the times I’ve spent in hospitals over the years, or the fact that someone in my family was once called a hypochondriac for taking me to the doctor 3 times in a week… But regardless, the statements of Doctors and Nurses are taken by me with an entire truck full of salt these days. Not to say everything they say is bull, but Doctors are some of the worst liars known to mankind. If you give them a raised eyebrow, or a cocked head.. they’ll spill their guts.

Here is what I’ve found works almost  every time:
If they say it out loud, so you can hear it, it’s most probably not going to happen.
BUT, the moment that they start whispering to colleges and looking at you like you’re a science experiment … then you have a problem.

That, and the fact that every symptom you type into Google will result in;

 You’re going to die. 

Hiccups? Death by diaphragm explosion.
Aching feet? Death by foot fungus. 
Shoulder pain? Death by rotator cuff dislodgement.


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