I haven’t spent 2015 as wonderfully as I could’ve. There was a lot of crying and clutching at my sides as my soul escaped to wreak havoc many times over.
I will say, that I learned a great deal about myself and the world around me; how to judge a friend for their worth, how to walk away from people that were once family, and how to smile in the midst of it all.
But, It wasn’t all sadness. 2015 came with it moments that when I was little, I thought I’d never get to. The moments that caused my eyes to light up, and my heart to soar. Those moments will never be forgotten. They’ll be stored in my vault at the back of my mind, behind the door marked Happiest.
I’m not the kind of person to write new year’s resolutions, for I know that as soon as they’re written … I’ll do everything in my power not to do them.
Most new year resolutions involve some form of regret. The regret makes them powerful (for a time) and we strive to turn ourselves inside out in order to fulfil them. Then comes the inevitable Anger at ourselves for not completing them. So then we realise that by doing them, we’re not moving ourselves forward in life, only backward to cleanse ourselves of that specific guilt trip.
So in my book anyway, making resolutions is not only pointless but it won’t serve but to be a reminder for all the things that came the year before.
My wish for this year, for myself and anyone who cares to play along at home:
I hope that I will be able to dream dangerously, live outrageously and love completely. That this year will be filled with a good amount of madness and just a touch of insanity.
I will make mistakes, but they will be worth it. I hope that they’re the kind that make me slide down the wall and stare at them in amazement. The kind that go in your memory banks by the memories they create, rather than the memories that they didn’t.
By making mistakes, I’ll be doing new things. New, wonderful, exciting, marvellous things.
I hope that somewhere this year, I surprise myself… an that isn’t an easy task to accomplish.
I hope that I’ll remember that I’m just a person, in the end. Who won’t always chose the right path, who can’t see the future and who is bound to the earth for a unbelievably short amount of time.