Whilst I’m pregnant, I’m having a constant influx of things to write, but recently I stumbled upon a blog post describing how different the writers selves were to each other.
There was her Edited Self and her Real Self. The Edited Self is the person who see’s the public on a day-to-day basis, and the Real Self is the person whom is only seen in the mirror. To deny the existence of there two people, is to deny a lot more that whether you’re true to yourself, or not.
My Real Self is hidden by my one true fear of everyone seeing me for who I really am; pimples, blotchy skin, uneven eyes and the rest. She’s the kind of person to eat ice cream for lunch (more so now!) and pretend that She had a healthy salad. The person who piles up a weeks worth of laundry into one basket, and then complains when She can’t lift it.
My Edited Self extols this persona of quiet and peaceful serenity; in reality my Real Self is only driven by one thing at a time and if anything else gets in the way of that, shit (and tears) will hit the fan.
My Edited Self also gives the feeling that She’s adjusting well to this change in circumstance (aka; bubba) when in fact, My Real Self wants to be hugged 120% of the time, fed ice cream from a long spoon and given that many drugs come delivery that She can’t remember jack shit, let alone the fact that She just pushed a baby out her vag.
My Edited Self hides behind the fact that all people are complete scum and to make a friend is to lose a piece of yourself. She holds her head up high and manages to not cry for hours if She sees no one in three weeks, beside her husband; (This is completely true!)
My Real Self however, wants nothing more than to sit on the phone for hours and/or drink (non-alcoholic) wine by the bottle, with a person(s) that has some common goals or interests in life.
My Edited Self also knows that, that will come in time. My Real Self wants it to happen now so She has someone to complain with and moan at about the fact her guts are being kicked sideways through her abdomen … and She feels oddly happy about it?