There is no formula to tell you whether you’re doing it right. Everyone has different goals, priorities and wanted outcomes – some people, like myself, don’t even know what most of those goals are until they’re smacking them in the face.
We’re all hung up on someone else’s idea of what personal growth should be; be it a friend, family member or co-worker. We strive to define ourselves according to their wishes and goals; and when that’s done, we sit there feeling empty and withdrawn and being ridiculously proud of achieving absolutely nothing.
Self-knowledge and in fact, self-awareness are key to maintaining a sense of structure in our minds. We must realise that the values of others are no less meaningful than our own, it’s just that we can’t do anything about them. Ours, we can. We have the ability to keep going with a situation, or terminate it at it’s source and start a new. These actions are very subjective in different situations and we cannot pretend like we’re going to get everything right, all the time. Most of the time, we’re going to fail miserably and have to start all over again until we get it right.
The constant rationalization of our own behaviour will, in turn, allow us to see that of others and find out what it means. If we’re doing something because we’re happy/hurt/sad/etc, we can then turn around and notice it in others.
(I’m definitely letting my inner INFJ out today…)