Sunday, 6:52pm

I’m sitting here, trying to ping words from my brain with a glass of (low alcohol) wine on the table next to me. Beside my wine glass, a little hand suddenly creeps up and tries, ever so carefully, to pull it off the table. Below the hand is a face that is half me, half Dave and all mischievous.

I’m a mother. That shiz is going to happen.

It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve managed to scrawl something relatively desirable to read, on this blog. I’ve now got a almost-14 month old running around the place like an olympic sprinter and throwing things in my general direction. This time it was a wooden tractor, and let me tell you, it hurt when it hit me in the head.
I turned around to chastise him about it, but all I saw was a beaming grin given back to me and the chastising went right out the window. I can’t discipline this raucous little man because he reminds me so much of myself, even when he’s so young.

But seriously. How overrated is the need for sleep?
When you don’t have kids, you sleep. End.
When you have kids, you stay awake – even when your sleeping.
It’s a new found super power I have. As is the indestructible glare that my husband receives, when he’s sleeping and I’m changing/feeding/patting/getting-kicked-in-the-face/etc. (Just kidding darling!)

The meaning of privacy has been all-but extinguished in the house as well. If you’re on the toilet, and you get the door opened with such ferocity that you’re not sure how it handled that; only to see a little man standing there smiling at you. Then he tries to take all the toilet paper off the roll, and you’re torn between letting your butt off the seat to save it or letting him tear off down the hallway with paper trailing behind him.
I’ve done both, and I’m still unsure which is best.

Also, We’ve gone from having a designer baby bag, with all the bells and whistles, to a sturdy and structurally sound back pack. Not huge, not small – just the right size. It fits everything we need and lets me use my two arms at the same time! (Mum joke … Sorry.)

As a Mum, I’m officially fodder for all of those; “Hey, you should totally start selling XYZ in your spare time! You’ll make $$$ per week! It’s so easy, just four easy payments of 1SquillionDollars and you’re all set!” 
Stupidly, I enquired about one and sure enough, even now, I still can’t get myself off the email lists.

Between the Beginning and End of this post:

Boob; 4 times
Food; 7 times
Nappy change; 6 times
Showers; 2
Smiles; Enough to fill this house
Tears; 2 times too many
Naps; 2
Naps (for me!); None 
Hugs; Can’t count, too many 🙂

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Monday, 3:40pm. 

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